It's a Tuesday.

I made another sale. I think Margaret knows, but I'm not telling her until after dinner. I want it to be a surprise. When you've shared a life for 9 years it's hard to hide anything, but she lets me pretend. And I give her whatever she wants. She deserves it.

It's a Tuesday.

I pick up Julian from his speech therapist on Tuesday. Best six year old I've ever known. Glad he's my boy. We go get some ice cream and hit the park. It's the one day I leave early. No matter what. I make sure Julian gets whatever he wants from the ice cream parlor. He deserves it.

It's a Tuesday.

Margaret and I always make dinner Tuesdays. Same thing really. We pick up some roughy and oranges. We get the limes and lemons and an assortment of different colored peppers. Some pasta and squash. Some red onions and fresh cilantro. It's always a bit much but we can afford it. Soon we'll be able to buy a lot more. I'll be able to get her a larger kitchen. Julian will have a better play room. I'll get my own office where I can have a cigar and drink some Scotch I've never heard of. I deserve it.

It's a Tuesday.

I tell Margaret that Dan is buying a new car. We have the same model, but Dan's has more features. It can even tell him where to pick up the best campana within a hundred miles. Julian is playing with his trains. He builds real sets, not the cheap stuff you get at Wal-Mart. I go between cooking and playing with him until the table is set. We sit before our feast. We deserve it.

It's a Tuesday.

After dinner we wash up and Julian puts away his train. Margaret drops a dish and it breaks. She starts to cry and I can't handle it when she cries. I become angry and slam the cabinets. I tell her just to get out and I'll fix everything. Julian looks up with fear in his eyes and says the first words he's spoken in his entire life.

"The world will end because of man's greed. And we deserve it."

It's a Tuesday.

Blood. Overwhelming guilt. The plates are all over the floor. Why does Margaret just lay there? The front door is open and I can't find Julian. I find the pistol. I taste the sting of metal. Why not any other day? Why now? No one can judge me.

I deserve it.